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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Happy Birthday, Lainey...

It was one year ago today that I saw the tiny little toes in the center of this picture for a few, short hours...held my baby in my arms so briefly.  The hardest thing I've ever done was to leave her there in a white basket at the hospital and get in the car and drive away.  I just wanted to scream, "No!  NO! I can't leave her there!!!!"  
The saying that the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep people put on this picture is so true....There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.  I just finished reading my journal on the Caring Bridge website.  I have a huge pile of kleenexes laying beside me.  I'm so glad I journaled all of that...so glad I have it recorded forever.  I still may write that book one of these days.
We are going to the cemetery this afternoon to release balloons.  Autumn had the girls write letters & make birthday cards to attach to the balloons.  I brought the stone home that we've had at the cemetery all this time because they were pouring the concrete to set her permanent stone on.  The permanent stone won't be ready for a few more weeks, so we are going to take the other stone back out there this afternoon since the concrete is poured and set-up.  We will leave it there until the permanent stone is set so there is something marking her grave.  There just needs to be something there.

1 comment:

  1. Karen,
    It sounds like a very special way to celebrate Lainey! I am so sorry for the sadness that this day and everyday since you had to say goodbye has brought you. Please know that you and your family are held close in my heart and thoughts today.